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Archive for December, 2006

Is Daniel Johnston Really THAT Good?

Posted by Christopher Van Epps on December 29th, 2006

This is a combination official blog post and movie review about the documentary “The Devil and Daniel Johnston.”

Born in Sacramento, CA in 1961 to loving but indifferent parents, Daniel Johnston suffers from severe manic depression and at times, seems to border on schizophrenia, but it doesn’t curtail his creativity in drawing Robert Crumb-like doodlings and recording Dylan-esque music. It’s said that the price of genius is insanity and while the insanity part is very clearly shown in the film, I’m not so sure about the genius part. To be sure, his drawings have a unique imagery and while his music has a similarly unique point of view, it ultimately falls short of the kind of genius that, say, Mozart or Beethoven had.

A music theory that I’ve always cherished and endorsed is that of the Musical Manifest Destiny: he who is first has the best shot at making an impact. Bands like the Beatles, Rolling Stones, the Who, and the Kinks made great rock music partly because they were pioneers. They were in the enviable position of being the first to define what modern rock music could sound like and the proof of this can be found in all the copycat acts and tribute bands that followed.

I’m not trying to say that Daniel Johnston’s music is the first of it’s kind: home-grown, cheaply-crafted, raw-sounding folk recordings made with a piano or acoustic guitar. But this theory is one of the reasons that gives his music the best chance to be heard: by the time the digital download era began with Napster in 1999, Daniel Johnston had amassed several hundred songs. Prolific? Yes.

But these are less like songs and more like ramblings of a deranged mind set to music, which is the other reason why he’s being listened to. Probably the best thing about his music is his lyrics. If we overlook the fact that he has trouble playing guitar and the fact that he’s off-kilter, you start to notice things you’d never normally forgive. His music is constructed without concern for things like melody or key signature, which gives him the benefit of sounding unique, but in the final analysis it must be said that these are not great songs.

Even more than musical manifest destiny, I submit that Daniel Johnston’s perceived genius is the product of a delusion. It’s fairly easy to imagine how this might have happened:

“Hey, you’ve got to hear this guy’s music. This dude took over the controls of an airplane that his father was piloting and crashed it (true story)! He’s fucking nuts! Listen to this song here.”

Who wouldn’t want to hear a song by a kid who attacked his music manager with a lead pipe, sending him to the hospital (another true story). I’d want to hear that song! Hey, I understand his mental condition may prohibit him from living a normal life. Fine, but that doesn’t qualify him to be the next Bob Dylan. Writing good songs does that. I’m quite sure there are dozens if not hundreds of kids out there who make songs that sound just like Daniel’s.

So I’m not what you’d call a Daniel Johnston fan. To each his own.

This Old E-Mail addendum

Posted by Christopher Van Epps on December 27th, 2006

This series of posts are workplace e-mails sent to me from 1998, back when e-mail was a relatively novel thing. Because of this, the jokes came by the truckload. Undoubtedly, your humor intake will vary.

A few days after Christmas, a mother was working in the kitchen listening to her son playing with his new electric train in the living room.

She heard the train stop and her son said, “All of you sons of bitches who want to get off, get the hell off now, cause this is the last stop! And all of you sons of bitches who are returning and want to get on, get your asses on the train now, cause we’re going down the tracks!”

The mother went into the living room and told her son, “We don’t use that kind of language in this house. Now go to your room and stay there for TWO HOURS. When you come out, you may go back and play with your train, but only if you use nice language”.

Two hours later, the boy came out of the bedroom and resumed playing with his train. Soon the train stopped and the mother heard her son say, “All passengers who are disembarking the train, please remember to take all of your personal belongings with you. we thank you for riding with us today and hope your trip was a pleasant one. We hope you will ride with us again soon.” She hears the little boy continue, “For those of you just boarding, we ask you to stow all of your hand luggage under your seat. Remember, there is no smoking on the train. We hope you will have a pleasant and relaxing journey with us today.”

Then, the child added, “And for those of you who are pissed off about the TWO HOUR delay, see the bitch in the kitchen!”

Imagining the 10th Dimension

Posted by Christopher Van Epps on December 21st, 2006

Another cool little movie to make you feel small.

http://www.videosift.com/video/imagining-the-10th-dimension

Animated GIF Day

Posted by Christopher Van Epps on December 20th, 2006

You better watch out…

Cat Killed by Furry Aliens?

Posted by Christopher Van Epps on December 17th, 2006

Here’s an e-mail from one of my neighbors.

Just wanted to let you know about this. We came home from Church today and one of our cats, Murphy, the calico, was found dead on our front porch. She looked like she was attacked by something, as she had fur in her front claws from defending herself. I don’t know what killed her, but the fur was not consistent with dog fur, but something else. My other two cats are M.I.A. and hopefully were just spooked and ran off. They are streetwise cats that have been living outdoors for over 8 years. Just wanted to let others know, as I know there are many outdoor pets in our neighborhood.

Maybe it was the Cookie Monster.

The Grand Scheme of Things

Posted by Christopher Van Epps on December 15th, 2006

This Old E-Mail addendum

Posted by Christopher Van Epps on December 14th, 2006

This series of posts are workplace e-mails sent to me from 1998, back when e-mail was a relatively novel thing. Because of this, the jokes came by the truckload. Undoubtedly, your humor intake will vary.

The Twelve Days of Christmas

December 14, 1993
Dearest Bob,
I went to the door today and the postman delivered a partridge in a pear tree. What a thoroughly delightful gift. I couldn’t have been more surprised.
With deepest love and affection,
Violet

December 15,1993
Dearest Bob,
Today the postman brought your very sweet gift. Just imagine – two turtle doves!! I’m delighted at your very thoughtful gift. They are just too adorable.
My everlasting love,
Violet

December 16, 1993
My dear Bob,
Oh! Aren’t you the extravagant one! Now I actually must protest. I don’t deserve such generosity – three French hens! They are just darling, but I must insist – you’ve been too, too kind.
All my love,
Violet

December 17, 1993
Dear Bob,
Today the postman delivered four calling birds. Now, really, they ARE beautiful, but don’t you think enough is enough? You are just being too romantic.
Love,
Violet

December 18, 1993
Dear Bob,
What a marvelous surprise! Today the postman delivered five gold rings, one for every finger. You’re just impossible, but I love it. To tell you the truth, all these lovely birds can really squawk and are getting on my nerves.
Affectionately,
Violet

December 19, 1993
Bob,
Today the postman knocked and ran. When I opened the door, there were actually six geese-a-laying on my front steps. So you’re back to the birds again. Those geese are huge. Where in the name of creation will I ever keep them? The neighbors are complaining, rightly so, and it is impossible to sleep through the racket. Now let this be the end of this.
Cordially,
Violet

December 20, 1993
Bob:
What the hell’s with you and these fucking birds? Seven swans-a-swimming? What kind of goddamn joke is this?
There’s bird shit all over the house and they never stop with the racket. I can’t get a damn bit of sleep and I’m a nervous wreck. Stop with this sadistic nonsense. This is not funny and I am very unhappy.
Sincerely,
Violet

December 21, 1993
O.K., Pal!
What in the screaming hell am I going to do with eight maids-a-milking? Jesus! I think I prefer the goddamn birds. The goddamn maids-a-milking had to bring their goddamn cows. There is cow shit all over my lawn and bird shit all over the house. I can’t even move my feet. Just leave me the hell alone, smartass.
Vi

December 22, 1993
Listen, Shithead! You sadistic bastard! I now have nine pipers piping in my front yard and they are standing knee deep in cow shit. This, after chasing those maids all night long. Consequently, upsetting the cows to the point that they are stepping all over the screeching birds. What am I going to do? The neighbors have started a petition to evict me.
Up yours,
Vi

December 23, 1993
You rotten PRICK! Now there’s ten ladies dancing. I don’t know why I call those sluts ladies. They’ve been balling those pipers all night long. Now the goddamn cows can’t sleep and they’ve got diarrhea. My living room is a river of shit. The Commissioner of Zoning and the Building Inspector have subpoenaed me to give just cause as to why this building should not be condemned. I’m calling the police! I mean it, by god

December 24, 1993
Listen, FUCKHEAD: Never in my wildest imagination did I ever think that I would be witness to eleven lords-a-leaping on that many maids and ladies. They took those broads like Grant took Richmond and many will never walk exactly right again. I wasn’t the only witness, by the way. The “60 Minutes” camera crew and staff are just loading up their cameras and equipment on a chartered plane and are racing against time to have the first Christmas Special on Pay TV. For the record, all 23 of the birds are dead. They were trampled to death in the orgy. As God is my witness, some how, some day, I’LL GET YOU! I never want to see your fucking face again as long as I live.
Miss Violet Monica Habersham

December 25, 1993
Law Offices
Goldstien, Silverberg, and O’Reily
Dear Sir:
This is to acknowledge your latest gift of twelve drummers drumming, which you have seen fit to inflict upon our client, Miss Violet Monica Habersham. The destruction, of course, was total. All correspondence should come to our attention. With this letter please find attached, a warrant for your arrest.
Sincerely,
Anthony Gionetti
Associate

Animated GIF Day

Posted by Christopher Van Epps on December 10th, 2006

Poor Ralphie…