Today, Tom Ridge, appointed head of the Homeland Security Department, resigned. Bush is considering several replacements but judging by recent appointees, he’ll be selecting the most ethnic.
Today, Tom Ridge, appointed head of the Homeland Security Department, resigned. Bush is considering several replacements but judging by recent appointees, he’ll be selecting the most ethnic.
This story about Sylvia Plath’s daughter making a plea of “enough is enough” re: Plath’s suicide is a little self-indulgent, I think. We discuss other artists of differing mediums the same way. Jim Morrison, Jimi Hendrix, et al, while not suicides per se, are tragic nonetheless. Albert Camus and Ernest Hemingway (as well as granddaughter Margaux) certainly were suicides and I don’t see anyone complaining about those debates.
What they should be discussing is which brand of microwave oven would Sylvia Plath have endorsed? [rimshot]
Gobble gobble, you wankers.
I’m driving to Atlanta today to spend Thanksgiving with my sister. I despise driving much more than the average bear and it’s a 6 hour journey from the Raleigh area so I don’t anticipate a nice drive. I hope that more people are flying these days to keep the roads clearer. It would seem that since 9/11, travel by flight has slowly increased each year. I’m totally making that up, but I feel I’m right.
So what’s in the news today? You could call this a “slow news day” for the most part but here’s a story about exploding cell phones that’s kind of interesting.
Also, I’m still waiting for my new PC to arrive from Falcon Northwest. They contacted me on last week and said with luck, the rig would ship by the end of the week. We’ll see. It’s a good thing I’m not in a rush to receive it. Customers can be real pricks when it comes to that sort of thing. The way I look at it is this…I fully accept that I’m not the only person in the world who’s looking for your company’s services. So I’m willing to be patient. It’ll come, I’m quite sure.
On a related note, I’ve been playing Half-Life 2 on my old computer, the one that weezes and gasps like a lung transplantee climbing a flight of stairs. Despite my PC’s handicap, the game runs quite well. Half-Life 2 is quite possibly the most satisfying PC game experience I’ve ever had. And I’m not even done yet.
Lastly, this is an interesting item about what we do and don’t know about outer space…10 Questions to test your Space IQ.
This story appeared in the Wired RSS feed yesterday about how pornography is like crack. Here’s a snippett…
Internet pornography is the new crack cocaine, leading to addiction, misogyny, pedophilia, boob jobs and erectile dysfunction, according to clinicians and researchers testifying before a Senate committee Thursday.
I guess I just don’t get it. Could someone explain it to me, please? How does pornography lead to any of these things? I love pornography and I don’t want a boob job. If anything, I’d like to get a breast reduction.
Jokes aside, I’m really not sure how internet pornography leads to pedophilia. If you were Pete Townshend, then yes, internet porn may lead to pedophilia for you. But that’s not pornography’s fault, is it? Chances are, you and Pete Townshend had pedophiliac tendencies to begin with. Here’s an example of a fundamentalist-friendly administration taking these yahoos seriously. A democratic White House would have thrown these idiots out on their asses at the same time protecting my freedom to amass as large a porn collection as I can muster. And if your kids have access to internet porn then you’re not doing a good job as a parent. It’s just that simple.
Let me give you an example. Let’s say you have a son named Skippy. One day, Skippy goes into your garage, takes the easily-accessible gas can and sets your toolshed on fire, burning it to the ground. You, as a concerned parent, take action against:
a) the petrolium companies
b) OPEC
c) the gas can manufacturer
d) the earth (for containing so much crude oil)
The correct answer is: You’re a moron who should be sterilized so you do not continue to foul the earth with your idiotic children. We can only hope that Skippy was in the shed whilst it burned and that the shed caught the house on fire with you in it and the batteries in your smoke alarm were dead so you slept through the entire blaze making you similarly dead.
Look at this story. It’s a story about the number of cell phones in Greece.
Uhh, ok.
But I really had my heart set on finding out how many Albanians have cell phones. What do I have to do to find that out?
What about the Swiss? I’d always wanted to know how many cell phones they have. I mean, who doesn’t?
How about Rwanda? Now there’s a good cell phone stat, I tell you! How can you say, “Can you hear me now?” in Kinyarwandese?
Well, well, well. Looks like Ron Suskind’s reporting of a civil war within the Republican party wasn’t so far off the mark. Colin Powell joins 4 others who have resigned in recent weeks, including John Ashcroft.
In some strange way, this is encouraging to me. Why? Because it tells me that not all Republicans are so “cocky with Christ” as Bush seems to be. That facts actually DO matter. That while faith and piety may have a place in people’s lives, they should not be the cornerstones on which to base the administration of a world power.
I wonder what I could do to convince Rumsfeld that he should be next?
Since Bush was re-elected (which I always predicted would happen), I’ve started smoking again, I’ve gained more weight, I’ve been driving more dangerously, I’ve gotten more apathetic at work, I’ve started thinking about quitting making music, and while I’ve always been somewhat of an acerbic little prick, it’s been much much worse since last Tuesday.
So what’s going on here? Should I allow the results of an election to spoil my life? It would be easy to say, “No, by golly! Get back on that horse!” I can’t deny that it’s had an impact despite my insistence that it would surely happen. I guess in the back of my mind, I hoped Kerry would win.
So anyway, it might be time to suck it up. My fat gut, I mean.
According to the new Digital Joy ad campaign, Microsoft wishes to make the computer the centerpiece of a TV-Video-Music-Movie-Photo world.
Gee, I wish I thought of that.
Oh wait, I already did 6 years ago. I’d been using MP3 as a CD replacement since 1997 but by the following year, I’d hooked a living room PC up to my television and used it as a monster monitor. So whatever I could do at a desktop PC (which was quite a few things) I could now do in the living room. And still do.
However, the top of the line model in their campaign has a measly little 160GB hard drive. I’m not sure how many hours of video you can fit on such a pathetic little drive and still have room for music and photos, not to mention the operating system. My porn collection alone has got to be something like 25 GB.
And digital video recording? I’ve weaned myself off television. There are no television shows I watch with any regularity except HBO. So I don’t have a great deal of use for a Tivo-type device. In fact, as great as I’ve heard those devices are, I’m sure such a device would merely add to my “couch-time” which, believe me, already takes a sizable chunk of my life.
So for me, Digital Joy is already present at Shangri-V. Next, they’ll be telling me about a way to make my music collection portable. Duh.
Today, I have a little story for you.
After work yesterday, I had to fill up the tank of the Taurus since it was running on fumes. The road to get to the gas station two lanes going in each direction. Those two lanes switch to a single lane, forcing the car in the right lane to merge if he’s not turning right. There’s a traffic light at the beginning of this road. Since I knew I was going straight through, I chose to be in the left lane and I situated myself accordingly. As a nice bonus, I was first in line at the red light. Pole position, as they say.
A dark blue Crown Victoria was approaching behind me. However, since the right lane next to me was vacant, he pulled into the right lane next to me. We both waited for the light to change green, which in the south can be a very long time indeed.
Now, I often choose the free lane rather than drive behind someone because I drive faster than 99% of the fucking idiots that I’m forced to drive with. I can’t help it. For example, I can’t understand when the speed limit is 45 on a road, how people can be content driving 35. I’m not talking about one or two people. Most of the people down here drive this way. It’s maddening. I may never get used to it.
Anyhoots, Mr. CrownVic is next to me, thinking I was a pussy southern driver, too scared to be in his own skin behind the wheel. I would’ve assumed the same, actually. The light turns green.
Now when I’m first in line at a traffic light and the light turns green, I immediately go. I’m not reaching behind me in the back seat for something, I’m not reaching over in the glove comparment to find a spine, I’m not talking on the phone booking an appointment for a pussy-ectomy. When the light turns green, I go. I don’t slam the accelerator or anything but on the same token, I don’t wait around for a northerner to tell me what to do either.
So here we go: Mr. CrownVic and me, presented with a green light. We both start off nose to nose in a nice, gradual procession into the intersection. As I normally do, I apply a little more gas so I can perhaps make the next traffic light 500 yards away. But Mr. CrownVic is still to my right, matching my pace. I can’t tell if he’s turning right yet because the turnoff is still a ways ahead. Even at this speed, he could slow down and still make it. So I speed up a bit to see if he’ll slow down. He doesn’t. He speeds up at the same pace.
At this point, it’s clear to me that Mr. CrownVic mistakenly assumed that I was a Pussy Southern Driver(TM) and that he figured he’d speed ahead and cut me off when he had to merge. This guy was definitely not turning right. He was in it with me. Nose-to-nose. The ‘98 Taurus vs. the ‘95-’00 Crown Victoria. I don’t know what hood-goodies he had but I was pretty familiar with my 24 valve DOHC V6 and what it could do.
So I opened it up. Even with the fact that I was running on fumes, I punched it. He punched his too and there we were, going for broke, both trying to be first through the light and onto victory. We both fly through the traffic light, which was thankfully green, but here comes the merge lane and we’re still nose-to-nose. Mr. CrownVic must either commit to passing me within 200 feet or fall behind.
He chooses to fall behind.
Granted, this little victory means positively nothing. And truth be told, we probably endangered many lives with our little traffic tussle. But it was fun. I encountered my driving doppelganger: a dude with the same attitudes about driving as myself. Additionally, I didn’t run out of gas. So bully for me.
Despite how difficult it can be to come up with things to write about in this space, I will press on. The election provided me with so much great material on which to base entries that once the election was over, I immediately grew despondent and I drew a complete blank once the electoral dust settled.
But I’ve got to look on the bright side of things. For example, now that America is on it’s final downward corkscrew on the rollercoaster of planetary control, I have all new things to write about, namely The Fall of America.
So there is a silver lining to this cloud after all. In short, I’m back baby!
If the Kerry-Edwards camp won’t concede then I will. Here goes…
I concede that America is filled with fundamentalist, no-thinking, religious-wackos and the thought of Bush in the white house for four more years scares the shit out of me. Far as the electoral college goes, this is the system that has worked for us dozens of times in the past, mostly without incident. I don’t think the fact that we are having difficulties speaks to its flaws. The fact that we’re having difficulties speaks to the extreme polarization of the country.

Get out there and vote, you bastards!
This story on the disappointing results that sometimes come from remaking past films is a bit confusing. While it may be true that the recent Alfie remake sucked wind (I can’t say since I’ve seen neither version), toward the end they list films like Charlie’s Angels and Starsky and Hutch.
Uhh, those are TV shows, idiots. Then I realize that the list was compiled by ScreenSelect, the Netflix of the UK. So maybe to Europe, American television is the same as old movies.
I can think of many really bad remakes that aren’t on their list. The Vanishing is probably the worst American remake right after Point of No Return (originally La Femme Nikita). Thirteen Ghosts and Meet Joe Black (originally Death Takes a Holiday) are both pretty awful too (even with the immeasuably yummy Claire Forlani).
On the other hand, some remakes are actually much better. Dirty Rotten Scoundrels was much funnier than the film it was based on: Bedtime Story with Marlon Brando. The Pacino-ized Scarface was better. Red Dragon was much much better than Manhunter.
So just because it’s a remake doesn’t mean it’s guaranteed suckage. It’s a roll of the dice no matter how original it is.